Making the ask: Persuading family to move nearby
Sisters Sarah and Sydney took advantage of the opportunity to live next door to each other. Then they persuaded their mom to move a few blocks away. Here’s how they successfully made the ask at each critical juncture, and their advice for other families and friends who want to build their own "minihood."
The basics:
Location: Louisville, KY#
Of family members: 3
The instigators: Sarah (and later Sydney)
The setup: Two next-door bungalows (owned) and a home (owned) 3.5 blocks away
The Evolution Into a Family Minihood
Minihood (def): A group of friends or family living in private homes a short walk from each other
The “Minihood” Origin Story
In 2019, after years of living hundreds of miles apart, Sydney and Sarah moved to Louisville, KY, where their mom, Paulette, lived. It was the first time they chose a city because of family and not work. They didn’t realize it at the time, but this choice set their “minihood” journey in motion.
When Sarah bought a bungalow in Louisville’s walkable Schnitzelburg neighborhood, Sydney and her dog moved in with her, so they could both save money. It took some adjustment after years of solo living, but they found a lot of support from each other. By the height of the pandemic, Sarah and Sydney were at max capacity after adopting two puppies, adding to their already full house of two humans, a cat, and a dog.
They began to think about how they could still have the benefits of being roommates, but with their own private space. Their first idea was to look for a duplex, but with so few multi-family homes on the market, finding one felt more like a dream than a real possibility. When the house next door came onto the market, Sarah encouraged Sydney to act fast and make an offer. It was not their original concept, but it ticked all the boxes: proximity to each other, an ideal setup for dog care, and within their price point.
The sisters had moved to Louisville to be closer to their mother Paulette, but now the 20-minute drive felt arduous for everyone. “Once I’d lived with Sarah, it was hard not to think about how much easier it would be to have weekly dinners if we didn’t have to drive across town to see each other. It really felt like the distance put a wedge in an otherwise great support system,” Sydney said.
Mom Joins the “Minihood”
Paulette decided she wanted to move closer to Sydney and Sarah, but never expected to find a house within their neighborhood - let alone three blocks away.
Initially Paulette was skeptical that she would find a property big enough for hosting and entertaining in a neighborhood primarily made up of bungalows and shotgun houses. While all three of them combed through listings, finding the right home for Paulette took five months. Larger homes in the area were rare, and it was even rarer for them to come on the market. The first three houses Paulette viewed weren’t a fit, but the lengthy search meant that when she finally found the right one, she was ready to make an offer.
Adding their mother to the minihood made everything easier: tech support for mom, dog help for the sisters, and family dinners that did not involve a 40-minute round-trip commute. Two years and counting, the trio is thriving. “I never thought 20 minutes was that far away, but since moving into the neighborhood, I’ve really loved the proximity,” Paulette said, “I really like having family and social support so close.”
Being within walking distance wasn’t just about convenience. Sarah and Sydney realized that proximity allowed spontaneous visits and made it easier to support each other with the minutiae of life.
Making a Compelling Ask
Here are Sydney's tips on making a compelling ask
1. You Need an Instigator Who Seizes Opportunity
Ultimately, Sarah was the instigator who recognized the chance to make their live-near-friends dream an immediate reality when she learned that the neighbors were selling the fixer-upper next door. She pointed out that even though it wasn’t the duplex they had originally envisioned, it was the right opportunity to start building the community they wanted now.
Sarah understood that proximity and simplicity were more important than finding the mythical “dream duplex,” which would be difficult and more financially complex. This awareness made Sarah more open to the more realistic opportunities to build a minihood and enabled her to recognize a great opportunity when it presented itself. She took decisive action and convinced Sydney to make an offer on the day the neighbor’s house came onto the market. After settling into being next-door neighbors, Sydney and Sarah agreed that separate homes within walking distance were a great balance of personal space and proximity.
- Be the Change You Want to See
Two years later, Paulette decided to sell her condo in the suburbs. She wanted to be in a walkable area closer to her daughters, but initially was resistant to limiting her search to their neighborhood of mostly smaller post-war bungalows. As soon as they learned about Paulette’s intention to move, Sarah and Sydney started making the case for their neighborhood. They made a point of frequently highlighting all the ways being neighbors had made their lives better – from a shared garden to easy dog-sitting. Whenever she came over, they would emphasize how much easier it would be to visit if she were a walk, not a drive away. They even used the grandpuppies as leverage. “We know the way to Mom's heart is through the grandpups, so reminding her we'd all be closer and when we needed her help it would take less time really helped our case,” Sarah pointed out.
A few blocks from the sisters’ bungalows were larger family homes, and Sydney and Sarah would send realtor listings to their mother as these homes became available. Finally, there was a match, and Paulette found a home that met her criteria: enough space to host extended family or friends when they visited, but smaller than her condo. The next chapter of the minihood had begun.
What They Learned
The minihood Sydney, Sarah, and Paulette built doesn’t look exactly like they initially imagined, but it achieved the same objective: to center their lives around each other. There are practical benefits too – they have been surprised by how much they share and enjoy resources they wouldn’t have on their own, whether it’s a pool or a vegetable garden.
At each step in creating their living situation, they faced changes in expectations, plans, challenges, and trade-offs. Having an instigator with a clear vision of where they were going helped them be flexible enough to see the project through. As Live Near Friends illustrates, there are many ways to get it done. For some, buying a multifamily building could be the unlock, while others may be more comfortable buying individual houses in the same neighborhood. The instigator helps explore options, persuade others, and take decisive action when opportunities arise. They plant the flag.
Though their minihood started as a family project, over time, their connection within the neighborhood grew. Now their family minihood has expanded into a supportive ecosystem of existing neighbors lending tools, helping with lawn projects, and celebrating holidays. At a time when loneliness has reached epidemic levels, building intentional community is essential. By sharing their story, Sydney, Sarah, and Paulette hope to inspire others to build their own minihoods with family and friends. While it takes vision, planning, and flexibility, it doesn’t have to be complicated, and the payoff is well worth it.
