7 Couples, 2 Grandparents, and 11 Kids in Two Buildings

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—LNF MINIHOOD PROFILE 03

In 2019 a group of friends created something pretty special on top of a blustery hill in San Francisco. They bought a two-building parcel together, and invited one couple’s parents into the mix. There are now 11 kids under six, which makes the daily carpool unload after school the highlight of the day.

Here’s a quick overview of who lives there:

1. Will & Brynn and their 2 kids
2. Patricia & Hayes, who are Will’s parents
3. Karter & Emma and their baby
4. Ed & Gabe and their 2 kids
5. Frasher & Meredith and their 2 kids
6. Jilli & Theo and their 2 kids
7. Alex & Anna and their 2 kids
8. A new couple who recently moved in

Minihood (noun): A group of friends or family who rent or buy homes within a 15-minute walk of each other

The following interview has been edited for clarity, but is in their own words.

You’re a big group! How did you all meet each other?

Jilli: We were friends in San Francisco, some of us knew each other in college, or friends of friends from the east coast. Many of us shared a ski lease together in Tahoe. Living together in the ski lease was super fun and we all got along really well.

Will: Maybe 18 people shared this little cabin. We did no calendaring, it was just go up, figure it out, if you didn’t get a bed you slept in a little nook. We were used to living all on top of each other.

Tell us a little bit about the place you all live.

Will: It’s a shingled apartment building at the top of a hill [in San Francisco]. One 6-unit building and one 2-unit building. It looks like a normal apartment building. Everyone’s got their own autonomous apartment. And where it starts to get more Seinfeld is in the interaction between friends that happens everyday living 20-feet away from people you absolutely love.

Alex: What I love about this building the most is the community space: I love being able to walk out the door right outside my unit onto the shared deck we built. There’s no way that any couple here could afford this view if we didn’t do it together. In San Francisco trying to buy a house for a family, you’re going to struggle spending less than $1000 /sq ft. We spent significantly less, and have one of the best views in San Francisco.

Did you all talk about or plan on living near each other before you took the leap?

Brynn: Will and I were the first to have a kid amongst our friend group. We’d seen that, traditionally once friends have kids, they grow out of their apartments and move to the suburbs. We knew our friends were going to start having families and didn’t want that to happen. We love being in San Francisco. We joked that the only way we’d get everyone to stay is if we find a place that’s really awesome to buy and that everyone can move into!

Jilli: My husband and I weren’t explicitly interested in communal living. We’d never heard of anyone doing this, or heard of group investment, so there was a fear factor. But we love these friends so much, we were intrigued. And the property was so cool. The communal living wasn’t the reason we chose to invest, but it is 100% the reason why we are still here and desperate not to leave even though our family is getting bigger.

Will: We never thought we would purchase a home in San Francisco, ever. This offered an affordable option to do that and extend the amount of time we could stay.

At Live Near Friends, we call the person who rallies to make a minihood happen an “instigator.” Who was that for you all?

Alex: Will was the visionary for this place.

Brynn: You need the force. But then Alex got everybody comfortable about the vision. Alex is very financially savvy and great at explaining things to people. It was a long process to get from there to here. It required faith, and as [Alex] says, “everybody’s just going to have to get comfortable being a little uncomfortable at times.”

Jilli: When Will and Brynn approached us with this–it felt like an investment in San Francisco. It felt like the best opportunity to be with friends.

Will: Brynn and I work from home and had the time to do the initial work of getting the project in front of a bunch of friends. Once we came together as a group, many of us chipped in to keep the project alive.

What’s the origin story of finding this building?

Brynn: [My husband Will and I] were walking our dog. Will is very proactive at pursuing wild ideas, and it was this building that catalyzed it. He’d reached out to a bunch of friends saying he was going to contact this building’s real estate agent.

Will: We passed this building for 6 months with the for sale sign on it before finally asking to take a tour. We invited a bunch of friends to come see the building–16 people in all–to see if we could somehow pull it off. There were 8 units, and [enough] people who all said they wanted to do it. We’d meet up at someone’s house, order pizza, and talk about how it was going to work. It’s 16 people on one commercial loan, so it was a lot of paperwork and organizing.

You took a unique approach to purchasing the building. Tell us a little about that.

Will: The building had a purchase price, and each unit is unique, so we couldn’t just divide the purchase price by 8 units and call it a day. This was a potential deal killer–can we figure this out in a way that means we stay friends, and that works as a process?

One of the guys is an accountant and built a spreadsheet with all the units on the x axis and everyone’s names on the y axis. We sat in Ed’s office around a giant conference table, with the shared spreadsheet projected on the wall, and had sort of a silent auction.

We sat there for 2-3 hours, chatting with partners or amongst ourselves a little bit, slowly putting in the prices that we would be willing to pay for the units we liked. When you were the highest bidder on a unit, your names showed at the top of the sheet. If somebody outbid you, their names would replace yours. So you'd say, "Okay that's too much, I'll bid a different unit," and your name would pop up as the high bidder on that other unit.

At the end of the night, everybody had an apartment and was happy with the amount they were paying. Being able to figure this step out was the first indicator that we would be able to figure out complex problems together.

You mentioned your friend who is an accountant. Do different people contribute in different ways?

Will: Alex is a jack of all trades, and really carried the project. Ed is an architect, and helped make the building beautiful, adding a back deck because there was no community space when we purchased it. There was a lot of contribution, it’s a very high-functioning group of people.

Jilli: It was a clear value prop from day 1: I didn't have to do all the work by myself, I have this team of trusted best friends to share the load with. I was pregnant during Covid, and during the renovations Alex stepped up and took on project management for our part of the building.

Will: Each person’s personality can be seen in the way they designed their house and the way they host. I’m a sloppy host, “Come over, help yourself, my fridge is your fridge,” and people are constantly in and out. Brynn and I love that. Ed and Gabe are more deliberate hosts. When they say “Come upstairs for sushi,” there are candles lit and Luther Vandross is playing. Frasher and Meredith do sunset cocktails. Everyone brings their own style to the social scene.

Jilli: We have a group chat where someone will chime in and say “Making dinner in unit 1, come one come all.” People see each other helping each other, and they step up. No tracking, no budget tracker, no tit for tat. We all just take care of each other. It feels fair, and there’s no record.

How does living near friends make your lives easier?

Brynn: When we bought the place [5 years ago] there was only one child in the group. Now there are 11 kids. It’s wild! It’s a crazy, busy, beautiful, and stressful time of life when you need help from other people.

Alex: One is just the community: getting home every day and bumping into your best friends, and having your kids go off and play together. A bunch of neighbors that are fun to hang out with, and you come home to them. [When it’s a single family] you come home and it’s the same routine: put the kids to bed, dinner together, stare at your phones with some Bravo show. Last night my kids went up to Frasher’s unit and had dinner there, so I caught up on work, and we jumped in the hot tub later. I love that part of it.

The second is the efficiencies. We don’t get babysitters. If you wanna hang out in the real world, you gotta get the babysitter. Here, you’ve just got your monitor on and go upstairs and hang out with your friends. I could leave tomorrow and leave my boys for 3 days and the community would absorb them. I don’t need to get clothes out, or tell them where the toothbrush is. It’s so much simplicity.

Jilli: Someone’s always there. To sign for your package, check on your fire alarm. There are helpers around who know you, your family, your apartment.

What do you love most about living near friends?

Alex: I’m a very social person, and my wife is more of a homebody. For me to always know that I’ve got at least 1 to 6 friends that will be down to hang out or do whatever–that is pretty special. Socially, you can choose your own adventure.

Jilli: These kids are growing up with a group of aunts and uncles who are not blood related but who will for sure be in their lives forever. Adults they can trust, and rely on, be comforted by. I’ll hear a little knock on the door, and it’s the twins coming to hang out, grab a snack, and sit with me.

Brynn: Our kids feel like they’re cousins. They’re always having fun, they get to play, and it’s so seamless without making a playdate plan. And similarly, if I want to go up and borrow something, I pop up and might end up chatting and having a glass of wine for an hour before heading back down.

Will: The carpool is so cute. When you only have to drive one day a week you bring your best self to that carpool. Captain Frasher does his pirate thing, I take them on trips to the volcano. You get to be the best carpool parent.

Any specific memories that really stand out?

Jilli: In 2022, my mom went into a coma in Florida. I had a tiny baby at home, a toddler running around, I was traveling back and forth for weeks at a time. Our community stepped up in ways that were unimaginable and that will warm my heart until the end of time. I didn’t worry. My husband and I were struggling but we had help, care, meals delivered, people who would pop by, or hang with your kid while you were stuck in traffic. It was a shining light during a very dark time.

Brynn: We’ve had grandparents die, and we’ve had emergencies. A child fell off a couch, and within three minutes, one of us was watching the youngest who was napping, and someone else had pulled up a car with a carseat to take them to the hospital.

Jilli: Did you know a baby was born in the building? That was a really special night. I hear, “Jilli, Jilli!” and it’s Karter saying, “He’s here!” It was a magical moment. [Karter is] the godfather to my son. To be there when his son was born was really cool.

What advice do you have for people interested in doing something like this?

Alex: I always say, do it. There will be no regrets. You need someone to take the reins, and then people start to understand the benefits, and want to chip in, and understand the reality.

Brynn: Having a few people with different skill sets is nice. A couple people who are passionate about making it happen. You need at least one!

Jilli: Trust is huge in this type of project. We didn’t know every single couple, and didn’t know Wills’ parents, Hayes and Patricia. We trusted our friends’ taste, their recommendations for the other people, and it worked.

[My husband Theo and I] are both from the east coast. The reason we haven’t moved back is this community. It has made us want to stay.

Inspired? Try out Live Near Friends today.